At the beginning of August, my dream to start traveling the world started to turn into reality. I want to use my blog to share all my experiences, stories and learnings I make on this earth with you. For me, it’s a way to create some kind of a souvenir or memory for this special time of my life. Moreover, it also reminds me every single day during this journey to do my best to be present and grateful. I also think that we all can get something unique for ourselves by reading the stories of other human beings. We want to know more, we want to learn more and question more. We all can learn something from each other. There are just as many different realities as life on this earth, that’s why I love reading, listening to podcasts, interviews and the written thoughts of other human beings. With my ‘365 grateful travel days’ projects, I now want to start sharing my journey in the most raw and vulnerable way possible. Let’s start growing from each other’s perceptions of reality.
DAY 10 – juice bar job interviews and a own room – This morning I woke up, took a hot shower and cancelled my work right away. I am so happy for trusting my intuition and doing what feels right to me. Afterwards, I finally got my Australian phone number going. I am grateful for the opportunity to visit a flat to share with another woman this evening. Living there for the next three months would be a dream for my inspiration and creativity. I also got the invitation for a talk with the manager of the most beautiful smoothie bar at Bronte Beach, a beach that is like a 40 minute coastal walk away from Bondi beach. I am grateful for all my self-loving plans. In future, I often aimed for less because I thought I wouldn’t deserve that anyways. Now is the perfect time to start breaking through all these limiting beliefs and make my life itself the most beautiful piece of art. It all begins with love. I am grateful for good talks with a Spanish guy who also is a vegan. I actually wanted to go for a run that morning, but when I started it already a bit later than planned and really hot. That’s why I didn’t force myself to run, but enjoyed a beautiful walk to Watson Bay instead. I explored that place for the first time and I saw such an amazing pelican. Animals make me so happy that I could cry. Afterwards I put on make up and went for a lovely coastal walk to Bronte Beach, the place where the beautiful Smoothie Bar is. I enjoyed that walk even more than the walk to Watson Bay before. Before the meeting with the manager, I applied there for a full-time job. I am so grateful that I got the possibility to try a work day there upcoming Tuesday. If I do it well, I will get that full time job. Working there would be such a dream for me, so I will do my best. Also I am grateful for all the challenges that would come with the new job. They open at 6 am every day, which means that I have to get up every day at 04:30 to start a mindful morning with a little bit of Yoga, followed by a beautiful coastal walk to the smoothie bar. They close at 03:30 pm which means that I would have the whole afternoon for even more lovely coastal walks, runs, yoga classes, creating, exploring, reading or everything else that I desire. I would love to get into the habit of waking up super early and mindful. But if I won’t get that job, I will look for another one that will be quite similar to that one. But wish me luck that I will get it! After talking to the manager, I walked along the beach back to the Hostel. I am grateful for learning how to love myself so unconditional. In Bondi, I enjoyed every minute of writing on these gratitude journal in the beautiful book Café I wrote about on a previous day. While doing that, I ordered a cup of soy cappuccino and secretly ate some yummy imperfect apples. I will now go for a lovely run and then go visit the woman with the flat to share. I am excited for every border to break through, acually, I am just so excited about everything – within myself and outside of myself. I am so excited for life. Later that day I went for a beautiful evening run with a wonderful view on the Sydney skyline. I felt so alive. After that I visited the room and it was just perfect. The mother and her child were so nice to me, and the room is just everything I wanted. Back in the Hostel I had the last and funniest evening. I laughed until I cried. Sometimes everything falls into place. Life is magic when you follow your path.
DAY 11 – moving into my own room, yoga classes and Newtown explorations – That day was a day full of changes. Full of endings and new beginnings. I am grateful for letting myself sleep in and being nice with myself. I went for a morning run, followed by a yoga class. I am grateful for falling in love with that morning ritual, and still being challenged to keep that sweet balance of not letting it become a thing I misuse to define myself. I am grateful for treating myself with a beautiful sweater to make the winter in Sydney a little bit warmer and comfortable for me. I am grateful for the super nice woman in the shop. She makes me remember that I actually want to spread love and kindness into this world every single day. I realize so much that all of that begins with selflove. Sometimes I struggle, sometimes I overflow with love for myself and every being on this earth. That’s life. After packing my lovely, minimalistic backpack, I left the Hostel after 10 days and moved into my first own home here at the Bondi Beach. I am grateful that it all worked out so fast, that I was welcomed so friendly and that I have my own space to become still, reflect and create now. Of course I also could have moved into another Hostel and party every night, but the simple art of just being still with myself raises my awareness of the infinite beauty of the simplest things in life, hidden under their surface. Life is infinite. After I unpacked my things, I started thinking about things. I was afraid of feeling lonely, of the plan being a wrong decision. All the people in the Hostel gave me comfort. I am grateful for becoming clear about my intention to leave the hostel in order to connect with myself on a deeper level right now. To calm down, I went for another yoga class. Afterwards, I enjoyed the most beautiful evening strolling through the streets of Newtown. I never thoughts that just exploring a city by myself could be so much fun. I ate the yummiest vegan raspberry peanut butter donut and was amazed by all the different restaurants and cafés. I talked to people full of love and hugged strangers. That evening was filled with pure love for myself and everything that surrounded me. In the evening I went to bed with a heart filled with deep trust, gratitude and excitement for the upcoming day. Not only for the adventures I planned, but also for the changes that will transform within myself. The upcoming day will make me become a lot more aware of all my different emotions. I won’t be able to constantly communicate with orders in order to distract myself. I will feel everything and I already know that my mind will try to explain.
DAY 12 – morning runs and hot coffee on cold and windy explorations days – I am grateful for morning runs making me clear my mind every morning. It’s crazy to see how quickly our bodies can adapt. It’s almost easy for me now to run every morning for two hours. Two weeks ago, I definitely would have needed a restday afterwards, but now I am just feeling more alive and energetic. I am grateful for Asher, the little son of the mother I am staying with right now, showing me all his beautiful paintings. He also loved mine aswell. It’s a beautiful thing how two human beings can inspire each other to create. I am grateful for that family being so kind to me. After my run I decided to go for another exploration day in Sydney. I am grateful for slowly getting more orientation in that big city and learning every day. I am grateful for present walks with my hot soy latte through the city. Hot drinks are magic, they always make me so present. I am grateful for exploring ‚the Rocks’ and ‚the circular Quay‘ in Sydney. I am grateful for all the pictures to remember that beautiful time now, where I was on that journey of becoming my own best friends. I talked to strangers and I walked across the harbor bridge and enjoyed the view. After that, I ate the first vegan pie of my life at a vegan pie shop in Newtown. I am grateful for the people there being so nice to me, and giving me the sauces for free. I love treating myself mindfully almost everyday. Also, I am grateful for finding cheap and frozen edamame at an Asia shop, I love eating Edamame, but I never saw them frozen in that amounts, so I am happy to welcome a staple in my diet. I actually wanted to explore Manly and go for beautiful coastal walks, but I didn’t feel like doing that anymore. Nevertheless, I am grateful for the woman I am staying with, giving me so much information about the most beautiful coastal walks around Sydney. I love connecting with nature, and especially walking along the coast always takes my breath away.
DAY 13 – more job interviews, vegan markets and old behaviors and ways of thinking coming up – That day was definitely the hardest one so far – mentally. I woke up feeling quite exhausted and almost anxious. I feel like whenever I feel good for a longer period of time, that state becomes normal and I start rising my expectations for life and also myself. I felt like I needed rest, that’s why I skipped my morning run and just walked to another café for a job interview. Just in case that the job at the juice bar wouldn’t work out. Well, I felt just sad and weird that morning, not liking myself in any way. After the interview I went for a walk to the vegan market, I actually was looking so forward to. I am grateful for the experience today, teaching me for the future. The vegan market was actually really cool, I was just not feeling it. So I basically started binge eating myself through almost every kind of food they had and spend a ton of money. I was not able to stop and I wasn’t even really enjoying the food, my mind just wanted more and more. After eating way to much, I felt so guilty about binging that went to a supermarket to buy even more bars, chocolate and other foods to stuff myself in order to not be able to feel all the guilt. I was so happy about not binging one single time since I arrived in Sydney, so falling back into these old behaviors made me even more sad. In the evening I just cried because of my inability to deal with all my different thoughts and emotions and hurting my body so much because of it. I went to bed straight away and distracted myself with social media. I simply didn’t want to feel myself. Nevertheless, I am grateful for my friends being there for me, for following my intuition while traveling. I want to travel to experience, learn and grow in order to become more and more of my own home and realize how whole I am. Sometimes it’s a walk in the park, and sometimes it’s just hard. I am a learner in the school of life, and I am learning to be grateful for every experience I that can teach me something. I already became so much better at dealing with my emotions and finding relaxation and peace in another way, so I decide to be proud of myself, and use this day as a lesson and a reminder.
DAY 14 – drawing and yoga to reconnect with myself Because of binging the day before, my body completely shut down that day and I slept for sixteen hours, waking up at 3 pm. I felt guilty for wasting my day that much, but then I decided to just be grateful to be able to have the possibility to rest in order to let my body recover faster from the damage I have done to it and just try to forget about it and go for a walk. I am grateful for the beautiful nature walk, even though I felt so sad that day. Then I spent the evening with Asher, the seven year old son of the woman I am staying with. He was so excited to paint with me. I am grateful for him telling me that he dreams of becoming an artist. We put on music and painted cockatoos, beautiful white birds that live here in Australia. I am grateful for being able to express my emotions in that way. In the evening, I went for a yoga class and it was simply amazing. We did simple moves, but it cleared my mind so much, and while doing that, I broke through so many old patterns of my thoughts. I am grateful for following my path, even though I often have my doubts. I am grateful for this evening to remind me that every border is just existing in my mind. I left that yoga class so calm, connected and peaceful that I just was so inspired to sit down and start writing all these experiences of life down while sipping on hot and sweet almond milk. I am grateful for all the learnings, all the challenges and all the realizations. Now I am just ready to let my mind grow by reading a new book.